i am a failure..

i am good for nothing.. 

i won’t amount to anything.

i’m ugly, inside and out..

i’m fat and I hate my body so much.
all i do is hurt those around me..

its better to make everyone hate me..

then to have people worry about a person..

to want to “save” a person that can’t be saved…

Why can’t I just appreciate the life i’ve been given?
Because I’m a horrid, selfish, bitch. That’s why.
That’s why..I just want to sleep.
I keep hearing in my head that I can’t go to bed without cutting.
I don’t really think I want to cut, but I know that I deserve it.
My body is just covered in layer upon layer of ugly fat and I can’t stand it.
Why is my mind like this?
Why do i have the unending urge to cut..?
What’s wrong with me?
Why is this happening..?

Because I deserve it..

mother says so… i deserve it all..

I want something bad to happen to me.
I want to be run over, or hurt by somebody, to go to the hospital,

to take tons of pills and pass out, 
and maybe stop breathing for a while..

its not like it matters…

i’m worthless.. 

she said so herself..

after all.. mother knows best….right?